craziness.

i've decided to change up the blog (and keep it somewhat anonymous)... so here's my first post. so, it's ridiculous how in less than one week my perspective on life and just life in general has changed so drastically. and yet, i feel somewhat tentative, about getting hurt, about what awaits me in territory i've never explored yet before, about everyone's reactions (especially my parents', 'cause they're quite strict and think i shouldn't get a boyfriend 'til college), about how it will change things... part of me wants to hold back as long as possible for fear of falling flat on my face, and yet the other part of me wants to delve in head-first and never look back. so many conflicting emotions occurring all at once! in the words of hermione granger, "not all of us have emotional range of a teaspoon." i've never held myself to be one to fall head-over-heels, and yet, here it is now, happening before my very eyes. i've always had opinions when i've seen it happen to other people, but now that it's happening to me, it's a whole different scenario, uncharted territory, sailing blindly in unpredictable waters. i could write a myriad of songs over this (and there already have been that many written), if only i had the time aside from what i really need to do. i've always been on the borderline of optimism and realism, i suppose describing myself as a realistic optimist. this is really just a spiel of a collection of thoughts i've been harboring for quite a number of days now and yet haven't had the time to really say, or perhaps even been too sheepish to say. honestly, sometimes when i think about it, it frightens me because i have no idea what could possibly happen. but then other times i think about it, and i'm ready to go straight into it and live it to its fullest. time will only reveal things up to now, and at this point, i'm leaving the rest up to the Big Guy up there <33.

general info: 17-year-old girl with a mission to change the world through music. purpose of this blog, you ask? i decided that i needed a space to express myself without fear of judgment and just post whenever i feel the need to. i do have a real handwritten journal, but i decided it was time to upgrade to this. only my closest confidantes will know of the existence of this blog and my identity, haha. because maybe if i put it all in writing, it'll make a little more sense. life is beautiful, no matter what though. i hope you enjoy reading my journey as much as i do writing it. <33